These Hilarious Restaurant Signs Will Make You Reconsider How Marketing Really Works

The food and beverage industry is cutthroat. Most of the time, your competition is just a step away at a different restaurant so you need to learn to stand out. Maybe it’s promoting specials, or maybe it’s coming up with an incredibly funny sign that will lure customers to your establishment.

Funny marketing has always been effective but it’s not as relevant in the restaurant industry, until now. We gathered up some of the funniest signs that have revolutionized how restaurants market their brand.

Reverse Psychology

worst meatball
Imgur

This is typical reverse psychology that’s being used here and they’re doing a very good job at it. When someone reads this sign they’re going to want to try to the meatball sandwich for the experience. Look, basically everything can be reviewed online and it adds some intrigue.

There are many restaurants that survive on bad food so having one horrible YELP review about the meatball sub is probably not the worst thing in the world.

No Rhyme Or Reason

bacon is red
Imgur / sequion

Look, we can’t all be these creative geniuses and come up with literary brilliance at the drop of a dime. I think that it’s pretty easy to say that the poetic gene isn’t nestled into this person’s cranium, but they get an ‘A’ for effort.

We can only assume that Shakespeare, Frost, and Bukowski are turning in their graves right now knowing that this is what their art has turned into. With that being said, this doesn’t take away the passion this place obviously has for their bacon and steak.

The Guilt Trip

we will starve
Imgur / sequion

It’s important that you get people into your store by any means necessary. Who cares if your customers are guilted into coming into your store? The money all looks the same. This sign may come off as desperate, but the truth is that everyone is connected through the power of money.

Both you and the employees at the restaurant rely on each other. So, with that being said, where are you going to go for lunch today?

Words Aren’t Enough

flicking table
Imgur / sequion

Sometimes the words on a sign just aren’t enough. This restaurant knows that and accompanied those words with a nice little diagram. The fact that this restaurant needs to even put up a sign that tells people to stop flicking, or flipping their tables tells us all we need to know.

This location must be a post-bar hot spot because I don’t see any middle-aged families coming in and flipping tables angrily on a regular basis.

It’s A War-Zone Out There

soup of the day
Imgur

The restaurant industry is cut throat. If you want to have a successful business and be around for a long time you’re going to have to make some enemies along the way. If a new spot opens up down the street and your customer base is flocking to them, it’s up to you to get them back by any means necessary.

If that means that you make a soup that’s based solely on the tears of your competitors then that’s what you have to do.

Purr For Your Lunch

meows
Imgur

Some restaurants have some really weird traditions that are incredibly confusing to understand. Some cafes will knock a dollar off of your coffee if you say please more than four times during your stay at the establishment. Other restaurants will dare you to eat their biggest meal with the stipulation that if you finish it all you don’t have to pay for it.

This pub will knock 10% off of your order if you can meow ten times. That would be one annoying restaurant.

Someone Woke Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed

Screen Shot 2019-03-14 at 9.23.27 AM
Imgur / ec2

We all have those days when nothing goes right from the moment we exit our beds until the second we return later that night. Everyone should be given 10 days a year that they’re allowed to be miserable and hate the world. It’s very obvious that whoever wrote this sign was using one of their 10 days because this is dark.

They just threw out the daily special while also attacking everyone’s uniqueness which is incredibly harsh.

I’ll Have Your Soup On The Rocks

whisky soup
Tumblr / sambo1987

Let’s be honest, sometimes after a long day at work, it’s a soup kind of day. Other days you get home from work and need some “SOUP.” There are a lot of issues that “soup” is going to cure for you, but chicken noodle won’t.

Chicken noodle won’t cut the edge off your stress. Chicken noodle won’t make you text your ex saying that you miss them, but I can assure you that “soup” will.

There’s No Grey Area

eat bacon
Tumblr / define-werewolf

There is NO good reason to not like bacon. It’s pretty much the most universally enjoyed meat of all time and I can say that with a guarantee. There’s no grey area on this issue, you either like bacon or you’re wrong and should be punished.

In fact, there are some people (probably this restaurant) calling for life in prison for people who don’t enjoy bacon. Of course, I’m kidding, but the fact that you believed me for a second tells you a lot.

This Is Fair

three kinds of service
Imgur

When you go to get fast-food you need to know that you’re going to be getting quantity over quality. No one is going to head over to McDonald’s to get a gourmet burger because gourmet burgers take longer than two minutes to make.

If you want good food, you’re going to have to wait a little bit. If you just want fast food you’re going to have to sacrifice the quality. This restaurant lays it out perfectly for you.

Some Serious Mommy Issues

happy mother's day
Imgur

We’ve all been there before. You’re working hard on your middle school math equation and you need help with some clarification on the question. Naturally, your instincts kick in and you call for your mother while looking directly at your 30-year-old math teacher who is now mortified.

Not only is this ALWAYS awkward for you and the teacher, but your classmates don’t let the slip-up go un-bullied for at least a few weeks afterward.

“Doesn’t Matter To Me”

90% of relationship
Imgur / Arrowrelationship

Is it possible to date someone who doesn’t enjoy the same food as you? The easy answer to that is NO. We should also get one thing straight, your significant other who says they “don’t care where we eat” every time is just being selfish.

They’re afraid of rejection and would rather be able to complain about the food and say, “you picked it, not me.” They’re not being easy going, they’re just being selfish.

Okay, Not Interested

this is bad
Imgur / sequion

Am I the only one who’s confused about how their grandparents and parents survived without technology? So wait, you’re telling me that I have to actually talk to this person that I’m going to dinner with and don’t have ANY ways to distract myself from the social awkwardness?

Having this sign outside of your restaurant will certainly cut your customer base in half, eliminating anyone who is under the age of 30 because the thought of not being able to text people while they’re on a date will give them social anxiety.

Literally Following Orders

something witty and thought

Everyone wants to have a healthy relationship with their boss. You don’t want to be the employee that can’t be trusted to go out and make an enticing sign for passing customers to see.

This employee was just following orders, literally. I think we can come to the conclusion that “playing it safe” on this one probably ended up getting this person fired. In a way, this is a very witty sign so maybe they just got demoted to a dishwasher or something.

Don’t Bring Kids Here

karma cafe
Imgur / servedown

The Karma Cafe sounds like an amazing place to be. First of all, you don’t have to worry about kids because parents aren’t going to risk getting served cold rice and expired beans as a result of their child crying the whole time.

You also won’t have to worry about the grumpy old people who complain about every little thing with their “back in my day” sentiment about how not tipping is actually benefitting the server.

Insta-Foodies Should Wear A Helmet

concussion
Instagram / @yourmeal

Instagram has become a striving platform for dog profile and foodies. It’s becoming mainstream for people to literally take a picture of every meal they’re eating that day and it’s exhausting.

Everyone who hasn’t suddenly turned into a food critique and meal photographer is sick and tired of people doing this. We whole-heartedly agree with the concussion protocol so this is a fair warning to wear a helmet if you suddenly have urges to take a picture of your burger.

No Matter What It’s The Same Solution

is everything okay?
Imgur

The quicker you come to realize that there is one solution to every issue, the better and less stressful your life will be. Whether you had a bad day at work, you heard some bad news regarding the death of a family member, or you just found out your best friend is getting married — going out is the only logical solution.

This restaurant’s diagram perfectly tells you how that statement is very true. Going to the local bar will solve all your issues.

But, Wine Not?

innocent grapes
Twitter / @lowdyhowdy

This sign is playing on your heart strings. Innocent grapes are giving up their tiny little lives in a vineyard so that you can enjoy that magnificent glass of Merlot. So, how dare you walk into this place without ordering a glass.

You should be thinking about all the sacrifices that have been made in order for you to drink that wine and appreciate it. From a business perspective, the guilt-tripping of wine drinkers is almost bulletproof. It works 100% of the time.

Okay, Rude

look down if you're wearing
Imgur

Can we just talk about the fact that socks and sandals are incredibly convenient? I’m not sure when all this hate started happening, but it needs to stop. There are many days that are too cold for bare feet, but too hot for an enclosed shoe.

The fact that this establishment is willing to give such an uneducated hot take about fashion is not only ignorant, but it’s bad for business. Billions of people, myself included, will be taking our dollars elsewhere.

Run For Your Life

nice drinks
Imgur

You don’t have to risk it. First of all, the pavement looks very wet which means that it’s probably raining and, therefore, you should be inside having a drink regardless. There’s such a thing as seasonal depression, but there’s also weather-dependent depression as well which is why having a few drinks on a rainy day is probably a good idea.

Not only should customers already be seeking shelter to get away from the rain, but the thought that there COULD be bears ahead is terrifying in itself. Think about this sign as giving you a life or death option.