The Funniest Christmas List Requests From Kids

Children are great because they simply tell it like it is. So, it’s only natural that when it comes time to make their Christmas wish lists, they cut straight to the point. But while some kids ask for more conventional gifts like, you know, Barbies, others have more…unusual requests. You won’t believe some of these hilarious Christmas requests are real!

“A Box Of Tacos And A Pet Pig”

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Maeve is clearly the type of girl who has her priorities in order. Not only does she want a Barbie doll and an iPad, but like any other sensible child her age, she wants a box of tacos and a pet pig. Same, Maeve, same.

Some kids are little more demanding.

Maybe Santa Should Take Emails

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This kid is here to remind us that it’s 2017 and we need to start acting like it! Honestly, who has the time to write out their entire Christmas list? Especially when it’s much easier to send links to gifts. This kid clearly knows the importance of utilizing email and thinks Santa should get on board. Perhaps SantaClause@gmail.com is available?

At Least He Was Honest

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We have to give this little guy brownie points for being honest. It’s not always easy to admit when you’ve done something wrong, but this kid knows the value in telling the truth. Maybe he thought that admitting he put his brother’s head in the toilet would ensure he would get a puppy from Santa. We’re not so sure this one’s gonna work out in his favor.

The Art Of The Christmas List

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This little girl has the art of the Christmas wishlist down. First, she’s clearly been working on her penmanship all year. Second, she opens her wish list by offering a compliment to Santa while also presenting a thought-provoking question. We’re not sure why we get present either, Lily, but we hope you get your “old fashend stuff”!

“Some Sausages”

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Like lots of little girls, this Christmas list includes some of the most popular items that will be under millions of Christmas trees this year. A sparkly dress, some Ariel books, you know—the usual! But “some sausages”…we have questions. Lots of them.

There WILL Be Consequences

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This child managed to terrify us with just a few words. Judging by their tone and use of underlining (and not to mention that deranged look on that pony’s face) they mean serious business. We’re not trying to find out what those consequences are either.

We’re not entirely sure what Max is asking for on this next Christmas wish list…

“Mature Stuff”

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It seems that kids just can’t wait to grow up. But speaking as an adult, I can assure you—don’t do it. It’s a trap. Stay a little kid for as long as you can. You’ll have time to ask for “mature stuff” like a checkbook, mortgage, and a pile of bills when you’re older.

Ah Yes, World Peace…And Duct Tape

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Ah, yes, world peace. If only it were that simple then we’d probably already be living in a glorious utopian society. Unfortunately, no matter how powerful he is, Santa can’t fulfill requests like that one so casually. We commend this little kid for asking though!

Kids Have No Shame

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One of the best things about little kids is that they have absolutely no shame when it comes to asking for Christmas presents. Case in point this kid, who has no problem asking for an mp3 player, a Disneyland Trip, $300, her own TV, and so on. We love the PS at the bottom too.

Telling It Like It Is

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Alright, Sella, if you want to talk we’re here to listen. Sure, lots of kids tell it like it is, but this hilarious Christmas letter to Santa is too harsh. We hope that Sella was just in a bad mood and considered this a bad first draft.

Rebecca Isn’t Taking Any Chances

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You just can’t be too careful in this day and age, especially when dealing with a supreme gift like a puppy. Even someone as experienced as Santa could forget to cut holes in the box containing the puppy. Rebecca clearly isn’t taking any chances this holiday season.

She’ll Make A Great Personal Assistant One Day

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Claire is clearly trying to flex her personal assistant muscles here by contacting Santa for her little brother. It’s no secret that some little kids hate writing, so if you have a big sister with perfect penmanship, why not ask her to do it? Of course, she wasn’t able to let Mitch take any of the credit.

The next Christmas list is very efficient.

“Please Text My Dad”

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As if we needed more proof that smartphones control our lives, here’s some more. Tennessee was too busy to write out her Christmas wish list since she already gave it to her dad. So clearly, telling Santa to text her dad for the details made the most sense.

Asking The Important Questions

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They say the average child asks around 288 questions a day. While Mom and Dad are left to answer the majority of these, that doesn’t mean Santa is off the hook. This girl took a few of her question to the big man himself.

Someone’s Been Watching Too Much How To Train Your Dragon

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It’s clear that someone has been watching too many dragon-filled television shows and movies. Obviously dragons aren’t real and this is an impossible request, but that’s what makes kids so great. They believe anything is possible. Bonus points for the Valentine’s Day heads up.

He’s Prepared

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There are few things more soul crushing when you’re a kid and you open your Christmas presents only to realize it calls for four D batteries. Clearly, this little guy has lived through this experience once and vowed to never do it again. We hope Santa is prepared this year.

“It Seems Like I Did Not Succeed”

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Sofia, Sofia, Sofia. We have to give it to this little girl for admitting she wasn’t on her best behavior to Santa. It’s clear that she thought honesty was the best route to take. Hopefully Santa laughed as much as we did when he read, “it seems like I did not succeed.” That alone is worth a present.

Poop Sandwiches, What Every Kid Wants!

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If we had to take a guess, we think this Christmas wish list was hacked by someone’s little sibling. If you look closely, everything on the list seems normal. A tricycle…sure! Flip flops? OK! A hot dog? Oddly specific, but why not? Poop sandwiches though…? You’re asking the wrong guy.

Dream Big, Kid!

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This Christmas wish list just gets better the more you read. She starts off with an iPhone, which is pretty outlandish considering we can tell by her handwriting she’s just a kid. And it only gets better from there! A flat-screen HD television? A computer? A limo driver? 1,000,000 pieces of shrimp?! Dream big, kid!

We Should All Be More Like Opal

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Opal is a true friend and we should all strive to be more like her each and every day. Not only did Opal not list a single thing she wants for herself on his Christmas wish list, but she requested Santa make sure all of the hungry folks have food to eat. A true sweetheart.