These Hilarious Kid’s Letters Tell It Like It Is

Kids live in their own little world. You may think that you have them figured out, but chances are, you’re not even close. They are on a plane of consciousness that is almost impossible for adults to relate to and these notes are proof. We’re not sure if we should laugh, cry, or be concerned…all we do know is that these little kids are hilariously clever and deserve some recognition for their wit at such a young age.

Did The Grinch Write This?

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Wow, this is seriously harsh. Either this little kid is a serious skeptic, or they are really unhappy with what Santa Claus brought them last year. “Your naughty list is empty, your good list is empty, your life is empty”…what kind of child can even manifest such hurtful words onto a piece of paper? Also, you have to appreciate the margin artwork with the holiday wreaths on one side and the skulls on the other, this kid is clearly a tortured young soul with a twisted view of the word. Clever, but twisted. Also, refusing to sign their name was the cherry on top of this hate message to Santa. At least their parent won’t ever have to break the new to this kid.

Love, Josh

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Apparently, Josh was at a summer camp where they force you to write home in order to eat dinner. Looks like Josh found a loophole by doing as little as possible and still managing to get some food at the end of the day. They never said how long the letter had to be or what it had to say so Josh took advantage of the situation. If you ask us, Josh is probably one of the most honest kids around. His letter says exactly what’s going on and he was even considerate to throw a “Love” in there for his mother. Any mother should be proud to receive a letter like this. Clearly, he was just really hungry at the time.

A+ For Effort

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This kid really went the whole nine yards in hopes of being able to play unlimited video games. After reading this letter, it’s quite clear that whatever kid wrote this is going places. They even added the nice little touch of being threatened to get kicked out of school if they don’t start playing video games all night long. That’s pure creativity right there. Also, making sure that their parents know that they’re doing well in all of their other classes was a smart move in order to soften them up before dropping the bomb on them. We wonder if they even put it in an envelope or the kid just handed it to them just like this.

Catherine Isn’t Messing Around

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Where this little girl learned what an assassin is or how to spell it is beyond us. Yet, it’s quite obvious that Catherine isn’t very happy with someone, presumably a sibling, and most likely a younger brother. Although we doubt that she actually hired a group of assassins, this is one way to threaten somebody and really get the point across the that they’re on a list that they probably don’t want to be on. We also really like how instead of making not one, but two mistakes, she didn’t feel it was necessary to get a new piece of paper. Way to think about the environment, Catherine.

I Will Make Better Choices

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Not only did this kid get in enough trouble that they were forced to endure the barbaric process of writing sentences, but they cracked the code on how to do it. However, the most remarkable thing about this work of art is that it only took six lines for them to figure it out. Six lines! For all we know, this may have been more work than actually writing out the sentences, but this is a matter of principle. This kid wanted to prove a point that he refused to be beaten and we respect that. Any teacher or parent that sees this should be impressed more than anything, and we’re fairly certain they’ll never have to write sentences again.

So Touching

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Aside from not quite knowing where commas go yet, this is a truly heartwarming letter. Although it maybe is a little bit on the violent side, it shows how this little girl feels very deeply about her mother. We hope that Brooke’s mother kept this card to show to Brooke is she ever asks what she was like as a little girl, sweet yet tough. All the other mother’s better watch out because Brooke isn’t afraid to get physical when it comes to her mother. Her mom must make some seriously delicious PB&J sandwiches or let her watch as much TV as she wants to receive this kind of praise.

What’s The Difference?

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Oh, we’re sorry Joyce. We hate to break it to you, but there’s not much difference between a baby brother and a puppy at first. For the most part, all they both do is cry, poop, and sleep and your parents have to take care of both of them. This is going to be one of the first of many lessons that you don’t always get what you want, and a few years down the road, we’re sure that you’re going to be happy that your parents gave you a baby brother, but maybe not.

Sorry, Not Sorry

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This is just another piece of cold hard evidence that little kids are the most honest people out there. Even when it would behoove them to tell one little white lie, it’s like they’re programmed to not be able to. But that’s a good thing, right? Wouldn’t you rather have little kids tell you the truth instead of going behind your back? We hope that Brody accepted this sort of apology from Liam and the two managed to put their problems behind them because Liam’s just telling him how it is.

Best Friends For Life

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This looks like Scott’s mom had him write thank you cards after a birthday party so Scott wanted to make them as clear and thankful as possible. Something tells us that whoever got Scott the squirt gun knew exactly what he was getting himself into and is patiently waiting for the day when the two can battle. This is a friend-to-a-friend type of thank you card and a younger version of how boys insult each other to demonstrate their affection. Hopefully, Scott’s friend is ready for the next time he runs into his buddy.

Fair Enough

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We hope that Mrs. McMahon still took this as a sign of gratitude although it was a bit of a back-handed compliment. What we’re really wondering is what inspired this child to write this note. Was it an end-of-the-year card, or did they just want to let Mrs. McMahon know where she stands in their eyes? At least they put that she was a good teacher, although they could have just said you’re not my favorite teacher. If Mrs. McMahon isn’t their favorite teacher, then who is? Because clearly, that is a hard title to earn!

Happy Birthday!

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Unfortunately, in today’s world, if a person received this card from an adult or a teenager, they very well might take it as an insult. Yet, because it was written by a child, it is obvious that there was no insult intended. We’re sure they don’t even know what the word gay means, and even if they did it’s unlikely that it would bother them at all. That’s why children are so easy to get along with. They pass no judgment and if anything they question the world over the most basic things that us adults can’t seem to figure out ourselves. Looks like we have a future activist in our midst.

A Man With Reasons

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This is a kid who knows how to get what they want. Nothing says official like a well-written letter with clear reasoning, while still not even fully having a grasp on spelling yet. They have the date in the right spot as well as a promise not to use their new skills against their own father. They even throw in how their self-defense skills will help out with house security, as well as will promote a healthy body and mind through exercise, making it a hard request to deny. By the way, where did this kid learn what an initial capital is? Look at that letter “I,” those haven’t been used since around the Middle Ages!

Calling His Dad Out

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Looks like someone’s dad forgot about father and son day, and their son definitely is not very happy about it. This dad should have known that sleeping through such an anticipated day would result in him receiving this very stern and unforgiving letter with illustrations included. If your son takes the time to make something like this, chances are that you’ve seriously wronged him. You’re in the hole now, old man! You’re going to need to seriously make up for this with some Disneyland tickets or letting him ride the mower, and don’t forget – understand this day.

Starting Them Young

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These parents better buckle up for dealing with their daughter in the future. If she’s already talking about buying all of the clothes that she can while she’s still drawing stick figures, they have a long road ahead of them. Where did she learn this tactic, from her mother, a sister, The Real Housewives of Orange County? We’re sure that the father put his face in his hands the first time he saw this. Maybe she’s just ahead of her time and knows that it’s not every day that you find the perfect pair of shoes, so you might as well get them in every color.

I’d Leave If I Were You, Valerie

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This was a beautiful illustration drawn by a little boy for his babysitter Valerie. This is a clear hint that this little boy has had enough of this babysitting nonsense and is ready to own his position as a strong, independent young man. So, to him, if that means decapitating Valerie, so be it. A little threat never hurt anyone, which means that Valerie should leave before something bad happens which is what he’s hinting at. Once again, we’re not sure where this little boy learned what decapitation is, but its probably time that his parents start using parental controls on the TV.

Self-Proclaiming At A Young Age

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Before this child could even write correctly, they considered themselves to be a god. Not only do they consider themselves special, they are pretty certain that they have some divine power that separates them from the rest of us mere mortals. It is also the most clearly written group of words on the page so that has to count for something. We wouldn’t be so quick to discredit this because you never know these days. We wouldn’t want to take the chance of this kid actually being a god and condemning ourselves for calling them a liar.

Sweet Revenge

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The real question is how long did this little boy keep this story to himself? Did he run home and tell his parents right after looking for some kind of praise? Or has it been bottled up in him for all of this time? All we know is that this little boy took matters into his own hands in order to defend his own property and his parents should be proud of that. We’re also sure that he enjoyed himself while he was doing it. However, it would have been more appropriate justice if he pooped in the dog’s bed and not his owner’s lawn, but we don’t expect him to understand that. Good work, little man.

Poor Frankie

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Poor Frankie, he’s still in elementary school and his parents are already letting him know that he’s nothing but a freeloader. He probably doesn’t help out much financially and his dad has said that he should have gotten a job when he learned how to walk. This kind of treatment might pay off in the end and cause Frankie to work extra hard throughout his life leading to a long and successful life. Either that, or he’s going to have acceptance problems and never really learn how to love because he had such a rough childhood. Hopefully, someone’s letting Frankie know that he’s more than just a freeloader.

The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree

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Behind this statement is a very proud father. He’s teaching them young that sometimes the best thing you can do whenever you are feeling overwhelmed is to just suck it up. Although maybe that’s a brash way of putting it to a little kid, it is by no means bad advice. Surely, somewhere in the classroom or on the playground this little kid is telling a classmate to “suck it up” and getting in trouble for it because that’s what their father tells them to do. But hey, at least this kid sees it as a positive way to handle stress and not a negative one.

No, You Should Not

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It’s clear that this child loves animals, especially dogs. So much in fact, that they added in their own little comment to makes sure that people know it’s not okay to hit animals. What we have here is probably a future veterinarian or animal advocate that started their devotion to our furry friends at a young age. It’s nice to know that their dog at home is well taken care of under this child’s watch. Also, why isn’t there even an option for the word pet? The only two options are only hit and fit. What kind of homework assignment is this, anyway?