Hilarious Christmas Letters And Lists That Children Wrote To Santa

For many children, one of the best parts of the year is sending a list to Santa, telling him what they want for Christmas. Little ones really do say the darndest things, especially when they’re writing to the larger-than-life character. Some wrote hilarious lists filled with things like pet crocodiles and Ferraris. Others took the time to put Santa in the hot seat, questioning his existence or how old he is. From handwritten Amazon links to begging for cash, these kids’ Christmas lists will have you laughing out loud.

Spoken Like A True Parent

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Reddit
Reddit

Kids really do model after their parents, even when it comes to writing a letter to Santa. This young’un must have been warned about consequences numerous times to now be threatening Santa with them.

They wrote, “You better bring my pony this year or there will be consequences.” The kiddo even underlined “better” and “will” for added emphasis. Even the drawing of the pony looks unfriendly. Talking to your elders like that may be cause for getting placed on the naughty list.

She REALLY Wants A Cat

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mmmel/Reddit
mmmel/Reddit

This child made it clear that she wants a cat for Christmas by writing the word in 16 different languages! After her mom posted it to social media, someone jokingly commented that they should get her a dog.

The idea is rather creative, and thanks to the internet, it wasn’t too time-consuming to manage. Although Google translate isn’t always the most accurate, as some foreign-language speakers pointed out in the comments. Apparently, one of the lines actually reads “cat person.”

A Parting Letter To Santa

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Michele Plachter Design/Facebook
Michele Plachter Design/Facebook

This child didn’t write a list to Santa, but rather made a letter to confess that they doubt the jolly character is real. The clever girl even put “Santa” in quotes.

She then comically wrote, “Even though I know the truth, I want you to know how much I enjoyed believing in you for the past 10 1/2 years.” She signed it “Love, Ava.” Someone else added “The New” in red pen so that it reads “Love, The New Ava.”

The Most Literal “Letter” Of All

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dalekmania/Reddit
dalekmania/Reddit

When you first see this letter to Santa, it may seem like the kid was just being a smart Alec. The teacher who posted the photo clarified by noting in the caption, “I told my first grade class that they were writing their letters to Santa… I should have been more specific.”

This poor kiddo didn’t know that by “letter” his teacher meant a message, not the entire alphabet. To be fair, they are probably much more used to practicing their “letters” than writing notes to strangers.

This Child Wants Independence For Christmas

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Mcd723/Imgur
Mcd723/Imgur

Given the handwriting and the fact that the original posting called this child a 4-year-old, we would venture to guess that an adult helped this creative little one write out their Santa list.

Our hats are off to the adult for not trying to sway the kiddo to rethink asking for their own house, bed, food, plates, oven, “and a burn thing that won’t make my hand burn.” Don’t forget the pet crocodile and shark that catches ready-made fish and corndogs.

There’s No Time For Small Talk

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whatsaflashbang/Reddit
whatsaflashbang/Reddit

We’re fairly sure that this child is a grown adult stuck in the body of an elementary schooler. They started the letter off with “Dear Santa, How are you? Well, enough chit-chat. Let’s get down to business. This year I want…”

They then proceeded to list off numbered items, which we’re guessing are in order of importance. First on the list was a space lego set. More specifically, one that is “big.” They also would like a “sharks jacket and hat.” Hopefully, they were referring to a team and not the sea creature.

Direct And To The Point

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@ali_holcomb/Instagram
@ali_holcomb/Instagram

This child isn’t the “beat around the bush” type. Their letter to Santa is only one sentence and it reads, “I want two orange goldfish and a jet.” The fish seemed reasonable, but with a present as extravagant as a jet, it’s no wonder they only had a few items on the list.

Not only is the letter typed, but it also doesn’t have a sign-off, making it even more straightforward. The kid just wanted to write their name, as though this were a strictly professional exchange.

Just Follow The Link

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kcapulet/Reddit
kcapulet/Reddit

Older generations are in awe of how modern technology has transformed children. This Christmas list is an excellent example of the internet’s impact on kids. The polite little one started out with “Dear Santa, How are you? I’m good. Here is what I want for Christmas.”

They then wrote out the entire, nine-line hyperlink so that Santa could go to the exact place that the toy is available online and purchase it for them. Apparently, Santa’s elves can’t even keep up with Amazon warehouses.

The Critical Thinker

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@morgherr/Twitter
@morgherr/Twitter

This child is onto Santa, and they aren’t afraid to say it. The very first line of the letter is “I don’t think you’re real.” The critical thinker then says that because their mom gets them presents, they think Santa is “a fairy tail just to make good kids happy.”

It’s a bit off-putting to see someone who has trouble with spelling say something so inquisitive. Then the little one points out that it would take much too long to get to their house from the North Pole, especially on a “slae” that “isn’t even real.”

Even Santa Gets Sick Sometimes

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Fuzzhead171/Reddit
Fuzzhead171/Reddit

This little girl had such a burning question inside that she didn’t even write Santa a list of what she wants for Christmas. Instead, she asked, “What happens when you get sick on Christmas Eve?”

She then wondered if there was maybe a backup Santa just in case. The author then added “I only celebrate Christmas,” which makes us wonder what her birthdays are like. After signing off, Ella had one more question to put in the postscript: “how old are you? because you’ve been around for generations.”

A Thoughtful Request

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transplanted/Imgur
transplanted/Imgur

One mom got such a laugh out of her daughter’s letter to Santa that she had to post it, and it’s easy to see why. The little girl started off by asking how the reindeer are doing.

She then said, “If you can not buy what I want take it easy on your self. Just give me tens and ones of mony.” The child was clearly trying to be as thoughtful as a person can be while asking for cold hard cash.

Just Be Honest, Santa

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@paytondfriga/Twitter
@paytondfriga/Twitter

This kid has had enough with Santa’s lies. She wrote that she wishes Santa would confess he’s not real and that it’s actually parents who “eat and get our presents.” We’re going to go ahead and assume that the child meant it’s parents who eat the cookies, not the presents.

The young girl ended her letter with a blunt “so be trueful.” We love the irony of wanting someone to admit that they don’t exist.

Never Forget To Say Please

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daveo794/Reddit
daveo794/Reddit

The little girl behind this list to Santa certainly understands the importance of saying “please.” So much so that she wrote the word after every item on her list! She wrote, “iPad please, case please, robot pupy please” and so on and so forth.

We also love that she accidentally wrote “Robot pupy please” twice, so she crossed it out and changed the second one to “Robot cat please.” We can see her thought process on that one.

Her Future Fiancé Is Going To Love This

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Blogspot
Blogspot

This little girl did a more visual Christmas list by attaching jewelry advertisements to the paper. She cut out each specific piece she wants, and fortunately for Santa, they are excellently priced.

Just in case he wasn’t sure where to find these gems, she wrote “Wal-mart” in all caps next to her name. We’re sure that Tammy’s future fiancé will be thrilled to know she’s only interested in an $88 “diamond” ring from the supermarket.

Would You Like A Drink With That?

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@jackleengomez/Instagram
@jackleengomez/Instagram

This child’s Christmas list is eerily similar to what we’d expect to hear from most adults. They wrote, “I want a order of french fries, a computer, and a chiken nugget.” It’s like they went to McDonald’s and for a split second thought they were at Best Buy in the middle of ordering.

We can’t figure out if it’d be better to respond “Would you like a drink with that?” or “Are you interested in our warranty plans?”

Not Quite Ready For A New Family Member

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@margaritamary/Instagram
@margaritamary/Instagram

This girl isn’t the first to ask for a little sister for Christmas, but she may be the first to ask for one in two years. In her letter to Santa, she simply wrote, “(All) I want for Christmas is a little sister, but not right now like in 2 years. Love, Samantha.”

We’re surprised she couldn’t think of even a single thing she might want before her sister arrives in two years, but good for her for not rushing into any commitments.

They’re “Going Simple” This Year

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@kristayetman/Instagram
@kristayetman/Instagram

This child wanted to be considerate of Santa’s time by limiting their requests to just one, very specific, toy. The kiddo started out by addressing that Santa is “a busy guy and all.”

They then said, “So this year I’m going simple. I want a pokémon Mega Aerodactyl box set please and thank you.” To mitigate any confusion, they even drew a picture of the toy. If that’s “going simple” then we don’t want to know what going intricate looks like.

Please Send Pictures For Evidence

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montynobles14/Reddit
montynobles14/Reddit

This little boy’s Christmas list started out rather odd. He asked for a hockey stick, a clock radio, “leather grade school shoes” (what kid talks like that?), “real leather sweatpants” (???), a breast cancer bracelet (sweet), and a Santa hat.

The postscript is what gets us the most, especially since it comes before the sign-off. It reads, “Can you give me some pictures of yourself so I can prove to my friends that you are real.”

I Can Keep A Secret, So Spill

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@stephmahoe/Instagram
@stephmahoe/Instagram

Remember putting “yes/no” on notes you’d pass to other kids in class? That’s what this young’un did in their questionnaire to Santa. And if it wasn’t a yes or no question, then the kiddo was sure to draw a line where the answer should go, humorously placing it before the question mark.

Some of our favorite ones were, “can you freeze time,” “do you have a zoo at the North Pole,” “do you speak multiple languages,” and “have you met a unicorn.”

This Toddler Loves Her Veggies

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@lifeofsaz_/Instagram
@lifeofsaz_/Instagram

This two-and-a-half-year old’s Christmas list seems like it was heavily influenced by the adult who helped write it. The first two items seem realistic: a seesaw and a teddy.

But the last items on the list are hard to buy: a mushroom and broccoli. Either Harriet has a profoundly mature palate, or her parent is trying to sway her to enjoy more veggies. Based on her drawing to the right, it seems the little one certainly appreciates variety.

“Please Give Me Some Money”

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@alliejsmith/Twitter
@alliejsmith/Twitter

This child’s Christmas list to Santa was remarkably simple. All she wants is a stuffed animal cat, colored candy canes, and “some money.” We love that she only put please before the money part, as though that’s the item she’s really desperate for.

The kid also put a sideways smiley face next to her money request to further persuade Santa. We can’t blame Sydney for her efforts as we would have asked for the same thing.

Acceptance Is The First Step

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@skully39/Instagram
@skully39/Instagram

This little boy decided to take a unique approach with his Christmas list. In the very first line, he wrote, “I know that I’m on the naughty list.” He didn’t proceed to try and justify anything. He merely admitted it and then moved on.

From there, he said he just wants his two front teeth. The child acknowledged that they have to grow, but explained that he needs “a little more magic for my big boy teeth.”

She Would Like To See A Reindeer “Eye To Eye”

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OpossumSurprise/Reddit
OpossumSurprise/Reddit

This little girl has a unique way with words. Instead of saying she’s never seen a reindeer face to face, she wrote, “I have never even seen a reindeer eye to eye.” That gives us an interesting visual.

The kiddo goes on to ask Santa to “please leave Roudolhp on my doorstep.” We sincerely hope that this young girl’s parent is with her when she finally does meet Rudolph “eye to eye,” because even magical animals need some personal space.

Give Your Dietary Preferences To My Mom

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@janicemarsden/Instagram
@janicemarsden/Instagram

This child seems to know that Santa has some sort of secret connection to her mom. She isn’t buying that the jolly man really wants vegetables instead of cookies like her mother claims.

The little girl has a hunch that brownies are Santa’s true craving, so she asked him to “talk with my mom about it.” Perhaps she just thinks that all adults have each other’s phone numbers, or maybe the child knows Santa is really her parent.

Practicing To Be An Elf And A Reindeer

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@mamaintheforest/Instagram
@mamaintheforest/Instagram

This kiddo wrote on behalf of herself and her brother, telling Santa that both have been doing their best to be good. She then pivots to present-talk by saying “first things first” and proceeding to ask to be an elf on the shelf.

The little girl says she’s been practicing by sitting on the shelf for up to 30 minutes. As for her brother, he would like to be a reindeer and can, so far, “fly two inchis.”

Stocking Gifts Are Not “Actual Gifts”

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@marosco1/Instagram
@marosco1/Instagram

This little boy’s Christmas list is unique in that he didn’t just lump together everything he wants. He started off by listing the items he would like in his stocking. Some of these items are not what you’d expect from a young person, such as “various food gift cards,” “custom couples,” and “more protein powder.”

The child then created an “actual gift” section that has more hilarious items like “solid dumbells,” “screen glasses,” and “new bath robes.”

Just A Few Things… 39 To Be Exact

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@jackieferrell/Instagram
@jackieferrell/Instagram

This little girl didn’t send Santa a Christmas list; she sent him a disclaimer. She hilariously wrote, “Dear Santa Clause, all I want is a few things but they might not be a few things to you.” We can already tell that this girl is a master back-peddler already.

She then says, “is 39 things to much come to my house and you will find my Christmas list.” The child clearly didn’t think that plan all the way through.

“Some Magical Mermaid” Please

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@catrionamairi/Instagram
@catrionamairi/Instagram

This little girl only had three items on her Christmas list, but two of them are rather vague. The first thing she wants is simply “something that plays music videos.” Depending on when this was written, she might mean a computer, cell phone, or iPad.

The second item is a Shopkins bakery, which is a relatively popular toy. The last request we’re not even quite sure how to read. It says “some magical mermaid.” Does that mean a few mermaids or just one?

One Ferrari And A Large Penguin

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@jennrosemurray/Instagram
@jennrosemurray/Instagram

This little boy and his brother only have one gift they would like each. That sounds simple enough, until you realize that one wants a Ferrari and the other would like a “big” penguin.

These kids certainly know how to dream big, and with Santa, the sky is the limit (literally). That’s the downside about telling your kids a magical man makes their presence. It kind of eliminates the idea of a Christmas budget or being realistic.

Say Hi To The Reindeer For Me

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@ali_holcomb/Instagram
@ali_holcomb/Instagram

This girl decided to start her letter to Santa by mentioning that she’s “almost 9 years old.” She then asked for a Vtech diary so she can play games on it, and a new blanket for her baby brother, which is very thoughtful.

Tara also wanted Santa to say hi to the reindeer for her. The adorable child ended her note with all the reasons she’s been good: “I help my mom take the trash out, I clean my room, and I don’t cry when I do my chores.”