The Funniest Christmas List Requests From Kids

Children are great because they simply tell it like it is. So, it's only natural that when it comes time to make their Christmas wish lists, they cut straight to the point. But while some kids ask for more conventional gifts like, you know, Barbies, others have more...unusual requests. You won't believe some of these hilarious Christmas requests are real!

"A Box Of Tacos And A Pet Pig"

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Maeve is clearly the type of girl who has her priorities in order. Not only does she want a Barbie house and an iPad, but like any other sensible child her age, she wants a box of tacos and a pet pig. Same, Maeve, same.

She even let Santa know what kind of Barbie house she wants... the same model as her friend Macy. Isn't that cute! Maeve and Macy, BFFs and matching dollhouse owners.

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Maybe Santa Should Take Emails

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This kid is here to remind us that it's 2020 and we need to start acting like it! Honestly, who has the time to write out their entire Christmas list? Especially when it's much easier to send links to gifts.

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This kid clearly knows the importance of utilizing email and thinks Santa should get on board with the latest technology. Perhaps SantaClaus@gmail.com is somehow still available? (No, it's not. We just checked.)

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At Least He Was Honest

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We have to give this little guy brownie points for being honest. It's not always easy to admit when you've done something wrong, but this kid knows the value of telling the truth. Maybe he thought that admitting he put his brother's head in the toilet would ensure he would get a puppy from Santa.

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We're not so sure this one's gonna work out in his favor, but you gotta try.

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The Art Of The Christmas List

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This little girl has the art of the Christmas wishlist down. First, she's clearly been working on her penmanship all year. Second, she opens her wish list by offering a nice compliment to Santa while also presenting a thought-provoking question. We're not sure why we get presents either, Lily, but we hope you get your "old fashend stuff"!

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We have to wonder what ice seats are though. That sounds... uncomfortable.

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"Some Sausages"

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Like lots of little girls, this child's wish list includes some of the most popular items that will be under millions of Christmas trees this year. A sparkly dress, some Ariel books, you know—the usual! But "some sausages"...we have questions. Lots of them.

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Perhaps she's just really hungry at the moment and sausages are what sound good. Or maybe her dad really likes sausages and she wants to surprise him with a gift? Who knows! Santa will have to figure it out.

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There WILL Be Consequences

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This is one seriously threatening letter. "Dear Santa, You better bring my pony this year. Or there will be consequences." Wow, just wow.

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This little kid managed to terrify us with just a few words and a drawing. Judging by their tone and use of underlining (and not to mention that deranged look on that pony's face) they mean serious business. We're not trying to find out what those consequences are either.

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"Mature Stuff"

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This letter starts out normally enough. "Dear Santa Claus, I have been good this year." OK, no alarm bells ringing.

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But hold up. It seems that kids just can't wait to grow up. Speaking as an adult, I can assure you—don't do it. It's a trap. Stay a little kid for as long as you can. You'll have time to ask for "mature stuff" like a checkbook, mortgage, and a pile of bills when you're older.

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Kids Have No Shame

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"This year I would like: Call of Duty for the Wii, some Nerf guns, the Wimpy Kid series and movies, some cards...." and the list goes on and on.

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One of the best things about little kids is that they have absolutely no shame when it comes to asking for Christmas presents. Case in point this kid, who has no problem asking for an mp3 player, a Disneyland Trip, $300, her own TV, and so on. We love the PS at the bottom too.

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Telling It Like It Is

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"I don't care for the real meaning of Christmas I just cared for presents." Alright, Sella, if you want to talk we're here to listen.

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Sure, lots of kids tell it like it is, but this hilarious Christmas letter to Santa is a bit too harsh. You have to soften the big guy up a little before you ask for presents. We hope that Sella was just in a bad mood and considered this a bad first draft.

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Rebecca Isn't Taking Any Chances

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"Dear Santa, I wish that you will bring me a little live puppy, remember to poke holes in the box." You just can't be too careful in this day and age, especially when dealing with a supreme gift like a little live puppy.

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Even someone as experienced as Santa could forget to cut holes in the box containing the puppy. Rebecca clearly isn't taking any chances this holiday season. Good for her.

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She'll Make A Great Personal Assistant One Day

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"Dear Santa Clause, It's Claire again. But I'm writing for my 9 year old brother named Mitch." Claire is clearly trying to flex her personal assistant muscles here by contacting Santa for her little brother.

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It's no secret that some little kids hate writing, so if you have a big sister with perfect penmanship, why not ask her to do it? Of course, she wasn't able to let Mitch take any of the credit.

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"Please Text My Dad"

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As if we needed more proof that smartphones control our lives, here's some more. Tennessee was too busy to write out her Christmas wish list since she already gave it to her dad. So clearly, telling Santa to text her dad for the details made the most sense.

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"Dear Santa, Please text my Dad. He has my whole list. I love you." It's pretty cute, we just hope Dad can remember the entire list!

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Asking The Important Questions

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They say the average child asks around 288 questions a day. While Mom and Dad are left to answer the majority of these, that doesn't mean Santa is off the hook. This girl took a few of her questions to the big man himself.

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"Ohh besides are you relly fat? Or do you diet. Please answer all the requests above. Right me a letter back." Yep, she clearly wants some answers here.

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Someone's Been Watching Too Much How To Train Your Dragon

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"I don't know how but if you can could you possibly make it so I can turn into a dragon pleeease!!! Or a pet dragon [either] one will do."

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It's clear that someone has been watching too many dragon-filled television shows and movies. Obviously, dragons aren't real and this is an impossible request, but that's what makes kids so great. They believe anything is possible. Bonus points for the Valentine's Day heads up.

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He's Prepared

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"Santa if you bring presents with batteries, bring batteries." Awwww. There are few things more soul-crushing when you're a kid and you open your Christmas presents only to realize it calls for four D batteries.

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Clearly, this little guy has lived through this experience once and vowed to never do it again. We hope Santa is prepared with a big stash of batteries this year, although we can't imagine his reindeer are too thrilled to carry all that extra weight.

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"It Seems Like I Did Not Succeed"

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Sofia, Sofia, Sofia. We have to give it to this little girl for admitting that she wasn't on her best behavior to Santa Claus. It's clear that she thought honesty was the best route to take here.

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Hopefully, Santa laughed as much as we did when he read, "it seems like I did not succeed" and then "Will you still give me a present anyway?" That alone is worth a present.

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Poop Sandwiches, What Every Kid Wants!

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If we had to take a guess, we think this Christmas wish list was hacked by someone's older sibling. If you look closely, everything on the list seems normal. A tricycle...sure! Baby doll? Absolutely. Flip flops? OK! A hot dog? Oddly specific, but why not?

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Poop sandwiches though...? You're asking the wrong guy. And a paper jam? This one is just silly. Let's hope it doesn't confuse Santa too much.

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Dream Big, Kid!

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This Christmas wish list just gets better the more you read. She starts off with an iPhone, which is pretty outlandish considering we can tell by her handwriting she's just a kid. And it only gets better from there! A flat-screen HD television? A computer? A limo driver? 1,000,000 pieces of shrimp?! Dream big, kid!

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It's not even clear if this child was done with their list since it's not signed. There could have been a dozen more requests tacked onto the end before it was sent off to the big guy.

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We Should All Be More Like Opal

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"Dear Santa, I believe in you. I believe your reindeer can fly. Santa my presents are going to be given to me by my family. But I do have a favor for you to do."

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Opal is a true friend and we should all strive to be more like her each and every day. Not only did Opal not list a single thing she wants for herself on his Christmas wish list, but she requested Santa make sure all of the hungry folks have food to eat. A true sweetheart.

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Ah Yes, A Peace Pillow...And Duct Tape

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Ah, yes, peace. If only it were that simple then we'd probably already be living in a glorious utopian society. Unfortunately, no matter how powerful he is, Santa can't fulfill requests like that one so casually. We commend this little kid for asking though!

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Overall, this is a pretty solid list: building blocks, unicorn stuffed animal, snowflake phone case, and princess Baby Belle doll. This kid is going to get some pretty sweet swag come Christmas morning.