You know you’ve hit peak-parenting when “What did I just say?!” could either be a threat or a genuine question. All parents go through the highs and lows of raising tiny little humans, all while doing it on an average of four hours of sleep.
That’s why sometimes it’s the parents that need their own little break. These kids are pushing their parents to the limit, and we just want to send mom and dad to the corner for five minutes of quiet solitude. When your child is projectile vomiting or upside down in a restaurant, you’ll be begging for a timeout.
This Is How Playpens Work, Right?
This first time I heard about a parent using a playpen to keep a child out of an area, I immediately thought “why didn’t I think of this yet?”
Parents know that even three feet of personal space can be the difference between having an enjoyable evening or having a minor breakdown.
Do What You Need To Do To Eat Cake
It’s common for kids to need to be rocked or held to fall asleep. For this dad, his kid would wake up whenever he put them down.
How do you deal with a restless child and a hungry father? Use their tiny little bodies as a table, duh.
How To Stop Your Toddler From Interrupting The Five Minutes Of Peace You Get In The Shower
What do you do when your child has finally figured out how doorknobs work and they can now interrupt you everywhere, including the shower? Use a quick grip clamp. Also, you can tell this is the shower of tired parents because there is a juice box leftover that they probably mixed with vodka.
Well, He’s Learning
This was probably the hardest decision for this parent. On the one hand, you obviously don’t want your kid peeing in a non-functioning toilet at the local Home Depot.
On the other hand, if you stop him, it would set you back months on the potty-training schedule.
Walk-In Closets Were Invented To Be The Perfect Hiding Pace
Any parent that says otherwise is straight up lying. Walk-in closets weren’t made to hold more clothes, just more people to hide from their precious little angels.
If you’re not going to be forcibly handed a timeout like kids get, then you have to get creative and make your own.
Please Take Note Of This Dad’s Earplugs At The One Direction Concert
Only the sound of thousands of teenage girls screaming at a One Direction concert could force a middle-aged man to meditate. He’s having an outer-body experience, and not the good kind. He’s doing everything he can to imagine himself drinking a beer on his fishing boat. Please, give this man a break.
This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
Why do children get special treatment? Take a kid to dinner, and they end up mimicking their chicken tender, and the waitress thinks it’s cute.
I go to a restaurant and end up upside down in the chairs and I get forcibly removed. When will the ageism stop?
Don’t Push This Dad Because He’s Close To The End
I want to know what happened in the bathroom that allowed this kid to strip all his clothes off and make a run for it.
This poor dad looks like he’s about three seconds away from giving up and letting his child run amuck, but simultaneously trying so hard to keep his cool. May the odds be ever in his favor.
Parenting Magic Tricks
Once again, I’m upset that I didn’t think of this first. Most of the time, I sit there trying to drown out the “mom, mom, mom.” Next time, I’ll just tell them “it’s time to take a bath,” and I might get a few minutes of peace.
It’s So Validating As A Parent To Feel So Much Love From Your Children
Once again, teens prove that they might be worse than toddlers. At least when they’re young, they rely on you for everything, so they are forced to give you unconditional love.
Once they figure out how to cook mac ‘n cheese themselves, they don’t need you or your love anymore.
I’m Not Sure Who Is More Upset Here
I want to say this dad is upset about having projectile vomit all over him, but any parent knows that he feels terrible for his child. When kids are sick, they are helpless and pathetic.
Parents just want to end their pain and suffering so that everyone in the household can get a good night’s sleep.
Has Any Parent Out There Actually Enjoyed Their Disney Trip?
This is a serious question. Because I’ve been to Disney and I’ve seen both sides of the coin, I’ve seen parents having the time of their lives with their kids, and I’ve seen moms like this. Moms who are tired, have sore feet, and are regretting buying their kid that last Mickey-shaped ice cream cone.
If You’re Forced To Sneak Chocolate In A Coffee Mug, You May Be The Parent Of A Toddler
Is this a parenting hack, or a desperate cry for help? If you have to eat chocolate from a coffee mug so that your children don’t see, it’s a sign you need to take a few minutes to yourself.
Drop the kiddos off at grandma’s and eat a full bag of M&Ms on the couch. You deserve it.
When Learning Your Children’s Unique Personality Is Way Too Hard
This parent definitely has enough on their plate. Learning about their children’s unique personalities and mannerisms is way too much work. Shaving “1” and “2” into their hair is way easier.
I honestly can’t imagine what it would be like having twins. And what about triplets? I can barely handle one miniature human.
If You Didn’t Notice There Was A Lemur On Your Child, It’s Time For A Nap
I’m not here to give parenting advice, but if you didn’t notice there was a lemur sitting on your child’s head, then maybe it’s time to head home and have a nap. I will say, it’s pretty impressive that the kid didn’t wake up despite having a wild animal sitting on them.
It Even Has A Little Bit Of Shade
One of the hardest parts of being a parent is finding time for yourself to do the things you love. Joining a recreational soccer league sounds like a good idea until you get there and have no idea how to play and watch a child at the same time.
Voilà! A parent-approved way of confining your child while you run around and do something you love.
This Is Why Overalls Were Invented
There are only two reasons why overalls were invented. The first is for old Missouri farmers to wear when they’re feeding their barn animals, and the second is to make transporting children easier.
When they’re in that cute onesie, you have to hold them carefully with two hands. Overalls are like a pre-attached handle.
Oops, She Accidentally Packed You Dad’s Special Juice
This mom has a lot of explaining to do after packing a Four Loko in their child’s lunch. Obviously, she should have had a Four Loco that morning to wake her up before she made that mistake.
Also, she’s going to come home to her husband wondering why she packed an Arizona Iced Tea in his lunch instead of his “special juice.”
Even When They’re Asleep, They’re In The Way
Kids have an incredible skill of managing to be a pain when they’re asleep. They’ll pass out on the couch right on top of the remote so you can’t even watch your favorite TV show.
Or they’ll fall asleep right in the line of your sunflower seeds. It’s almost as if their sole purpose is to push their parents to the limits.
Playing Cinderella Is The Best Way To Get Yourself A Break
Most of these parents need their own timeout to relax, but one mom managed to find a way to do it. All you have to do is shell out $20 for a Cinderella dress, and then tell your child it’s time to play a game.
She has to be Cinderella and clean the house, and you’ll be the evil step-mother who watches over her while drinking a glass of wine on the couch.