Veterinarians perform a job that all animal lovers admire because they keep our pets healthy and safe. It's not an easy profession to get into either, with many aspiring veterinarians either not being accepted into schools or failing to graduate. Just because a veterinarian is someone in a position of authority and respect, that doesn't mean that they can't have a sense of humor. Sometimes, humor is the best way to get someone's attention, and that's exactly what these vets did. Here are the funniest signs seen outside veterinarians' offices.
No, They Would Not
If you've ever owned a cat or have been around them enough, you know that cats really don't need you all that much. They have no problem using you to feed them, clean up after them, and make them comfortable, but they will rarely do anything that benefits you.
Yes, they might be cute and entertaining to watch, but at the end of the day, they don't need you as much as you might think. If your cat has use of a cell phone, you might as well not even give them your number.
Yes, Master
Most dogs understand that they have an owner and respect them, and they often repay their owner for their care by showering them with unconditional love. They appreciate that you feed them, play with them, and love them, and they return it with loyalty and protection.
Cats, on the other hand, not so much. You can go above and beyond for a cat and they'll most likely treat you as if you hadn't done anything for them at all. Most cats seem to think that you enjoy waiting on them.
Lucky Dogs!
Surely, there would be a lot of patients at St. Joe's if the belly rub rule didn't only apply to animals. People would be taking in their pets to the vet numerous times a week just to get a free belly rub out of it.
Granted, that would be totally weird, but some people might be into that kind of stuff. So, instead, do it for your own dog so they can get some love from someone else other than you. It's still a good thing they clarified themselves with this sign.
The Dreaded Cone
Most dogs and cats will act like they're invincible until they find themselves in the car on the way to the vet. All of their confidence goes right out of the window and they're suddenly shaking in their boots. What's even worse than wearing a cone, however, is when they leave the vet wearing the awful cone of shame.
While us owners might chuckle at their misfortune, if you put yourself in their shoes, it's easy to understand how miserable that would really be. Maybe one day they'll come up with a better solution than the cone.
A Parent's Worst Nightmare
There's nothing more horrifying to a parent than seeing their child drinking espresso while simultaneously being given a free puppy. If a veterinarian's office threatens this as a punishment for leaving a child unattended, many parents might take the leash off their dog and put it on their child instead.
This way, the child will always be in their parent's sight and far away from any espressos and puppies. Now, they won't have to worry about dealing with a child on a caffeine high, begging them to let them take home a new puppy.
You Really Can't Win
Have you ever noticed that your cat is most indecisive when it comes to deciding which room they want to be in? If a door is closed they'll be meowing to get in only to be meowing to get out just minutes later.
Now, you're stuck in the cycle of letting them in and out because they know they can control you since us humans are weak. They're well aware that if they annoy you enough you'll do their bidding just to get them to be quiet. Moral of the story, never close your door if you have a cat.
That Would Be Quite The Job
It seems that this veterinarian thinks that people don't take their animals in for a checkup as often as they should. This is important because you can't always tell if your pet is sick or in pain, so you might be able to catch if there's something wrong before it's too late.
So, to grab the attention of the public, they put up this hilarious sign. Although it isn't meant to be taken seriously, it might have encouraged some people to schedule an appointment. On a side note, could you imagine what it would be like to be a dinosaur veterinarian?
Belt It Out!
There's nothing like a veterinarian pun every now and then to make a trip to the vet that much more eventful. Too bad your pets can't read because a joke like this might help them to feel a little more comfortable before going inside the dreaded vet's office.
We wonder if they change their sign regularly with new lyrics. We're sure that it helps to attract business because it makes their office stand out, unlike most other animal hospitals.
Like The Speed Of Light
While there isn't really anything wrong with the 5-second rule if you drop a piece of food on the ground, that rule tends to not exist if you have pets in the house, especially dogs. Many of them spend the majority of their time eagerly waiting for you to make that fateful mistake of dropping a piece of food.
Once you do, they're like the Flash and gobble it up usually before you even noticed that you had dropped it. Just make sure you don't drop something you were really looking forward to eating!
In The Words Of Sir-Mix-A-Lot...
We hope you get the play on words here because it's actually pretty clever. While Sir-Mix-a-Lot's original version of "Baby Got Back" might be a little bit more inappropriate than this sign, this veterinarian's office certainly managed to transform it into something cute and innocent.
We're sure that this office loves their fair share of big mutts and we're also sure that this sign gave plenty of people a good laugh as they drive by. You'd be missing out if you didn't take your dog to this vet.
Solid Life Advice
Considering that dogs are one of the least stressed and happiest animals on the planet, they're probably doing something right. So, the next time that you're feeling particularly overwhelmed or stressed, just think about what your dog might do and imitate that.
If that means peeing on the furniture or eating an entire loaf of bread and laying in the grass, so be it. They're clearly doing something right and maybe it's us that have been doing it wrong the entire time.
Thor's Loyal Best Friend
This one goes out to all of the Marvel fans out there. While Thor is only great, could you imagine if he had a trusty K-9 sidekick named Labrathor? We think that would make that superhero storyline even better.
We're not too sure how the dog would wield a hammer, but labs are smart enough we're sure it would find a way. Let's be honest with ourselves, one of these superheroes needs a dog, so why not Thor?
It Doesn't Matter What They Eat
While dogs and other pets have been known to throw up their food on occasion, few rarely do it as frequently and consistently as the feline. Surely, there's some biological explanation behind it, but it's not unusual to hear your cat start to regurgitate their food as you frantically try to get them outside.
Or even better, when you see a fresh present on the living room carpet when you walk through the door. To top it off, they'll probably start meowing that they're hungry not long after.
Speaking The Truth
Although legendary rapper Tupac Shakur might have meant something slightly different in his original quote, it's clear that most pup owners took it to heart, except in terms for their favorite dog breed If you pay attention, you might notice that most pug owners either have more than one pug or are simply loyal to the breed.
So, there must be some truth in this sign, because it's clear that owning a pug admits you into the exclusive society of pug owners.
A Decorated Olympian
If cats aren't busy purposefully knocking things off of counters or flying around the house, chances are that the're sleeping. Even if you feel bad for leaving them alone at home for extended periods of time, they're more than likely fine, having sweet dreams about endless amounts of wet food and fresh toys to play with.
They're professional sleepers although it's curious how such a small animal can sleep so much. We guess it might be an exhausting life being a house cat.
You Don't Say...
These days, it wouldn't be surprising if some people didn't know that you couldn't just drop your pet off like picking up food from a fast food restaurant. People tend to want to make things as easy as possible for themselves, so taking the time to make an appointment and take their pet to the vet isn't always at the top of their to-do list.
Nonetheless, it's important that you do it, even if it means making an appointment and physically walking into the vet's office.
Never Pass Up A Dental Deal
If you've ever had a dog get right up in your face with its mouth wide open, it probably opened your eyes to the fact that dogs need help with their dental hygiene too. Although dog teeth are different and much more durable than human teeth, that doesn't mean that their mouth doesn't need any attention.
This sign helps to remind people to take care of their animals' teeth while providing a joke at the same time. Hopefully, this helped raise awareness to some pet owners that drove by and saw it.
Shots Fired!
We can only imagine where this veterinary hospital is located if it's willing to throw so much shade at NFL New England Patriots fans. In case you were unaware, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was accused of cheating by deflating footballs.
Well, this veterinary clinic is known for deflating "balls" by neutering male dogs. We're sure this sign brought in a lot of customers that hated the NFL team, but they also most likely lost business for the exact same reason.
Always Nice To Have Reassurance
Sometimes, it's nice to have the reassurance that your pets really do love you and that they're not just pretending in order to use you. This veterinary clinic wanted to give people that friendly reminder with a funny little twist at the end.
While this might go over a lot of children's heads, it's definitely directed towards an older crowd. It's a funny way for the office to be a little naughty while still keeping things innocent and humorous.
Say No To Animal Testing
Are you a good test taker? Not many of us are and that's one problem with society. Perhaps coming up with new ways to determine how much someone knows on a subject should be a focus. This vet seems to agree.
Imagine your poor little kitten getting prepared for a test and she didn't study. Chances are she's going to fail. Let's say no to animal testing. It doesn't help us that much and it harms animals.
Doggy Magicians Sound Cool
This sign almost sounds like a dad joke, but we won't go that far. What do you call a dog magician? If anyone in their right mind can figure this out without seeing the answer then they are omnipotent.
Who would be able to guess that the answer is 'labracadabrador?' Do crickets come up to this vet so they can chirp at this sign outside? We're not saying it isn't funny, it's just a bit of a stretch. Still, we know many cornballs will love this.
Owners Everywhere Can Appreciate This
Having a pet dog comes with many benefits. They provide unconditional love, they can fetch things for you, and they can serve as a personal alarm clock. Oh, you weren't aware of that feature?
Dog owners can relate to this sign because it happens far too often. An hour before your alarm goes off, you can bet that your four-legged friend will be coming up to your face with licks to spare. Go purchase a dog and find out.
Watch Your Little Pal Fetch
Getting your dog fixed isn't something owners are thrilled about, but its something that does need to happen sometimes. Your poor little pooch might be out of commission for a while, but he'll bounce back better than ever.
You know what else bounces? Balls, and dogs love bouncy balls. They're the only type he needs according to this vet and we appreciate this clever sign. Some might find it inappropriate, but it gets the point across in a funny way.
The New Kitty Purry Single
Katy Perry kissed a girl and she liked it. Fans appreciated her honesty and the song became one of the biggest hits in the past twenty years. Kitty Purry wanted to one-up her.
Purry kissed a pug and many thought she wouldn't like it. A pug and a cat? Get real, that isn't something you see every day. If you do, we'd like to know what part of the world you live in so we can witness this too.
Please Talk With Your Cats
Becoming addicted to catnip is an epidemic that cat owners can't control. After getting introduced to the great treat, cats can't get enough. They'll find ways to sneak it out of the container and trick you into giving you some.
You and your cat need to have an intervention or else things could get very bad. When owners don't sit with their feline friend and discuss the issues, they're at risk at letting their cats become addicts. Please talk to your cat, people.
Show Us Your WHAT?!
Oh, you want owners to show you their kittens, not the other thing that closely resembles the word "kitties." Do parents drive by this and cover their kids' eyes? They wouldn't want their children getting the wrong ideas.
All the kids at school are probably going around shouting "show us your kitties!" on the playground. If a teacher hears that, someone's parents are getting called and those parents will happily direct them to the Eau Gallie Veterinary Hospital.
Dalmatians Can't Hide!
Dalmatians have some of the coolest coats out of every animal. The spotted dog also gave us 101 reasons to watch an animated film about them and folks loved it. One thing we're sure the dogs don't personally enjoy is their inability to hide.
They can't hide because they're always spotted! Get it? Well, hopefully, you do because this vet showcased this joke for the whole city to see when they drive past. We give them five stars out of five.
Wow, What Clever Wordplay
The kind folks over at Temperance Animal Hospital aren't joking around about their availability (or are they?). They're telling you that have appointments available seven days a week and people need to take advantage of it.
They Shih Tzu not, just give them a chance. Oh wait, maybe they are joking around! Would you feel inclined to make an appointment after reading this clever sign or would you assume it was a joke for looks?
They Finally Got Him...
Maybe this should be breaking news. Folks everywhere have attempted to capture the Energizer Bunny, but he's so elusive. Walking around banging his drum that looks attached to his chest. Who does he think he is?
It looks like Vestavia Animal Clinic finally got the jump on the bunny. Charging him with battery should be the minimum. He's probably attacked many people in the past that no one ever reported. Maybe because he kept going and going...
Cat Puns Are Purrfect
Puns can break the ice or make things more awkward. In the case of this vet sign, we'd like to think they're breaking the ice. More customers have to be flocking in after laughing at this sign.
"Seriously I'm not kitten" is pun gold and we completely back this animal hospital. We wish more places could be this funny which would make them more inviting. Honestly, this pun should be their email signature and we're not joking.
GoT Fans Unite
If you watch Game of Thrones, then this sign should be amazing to you. In season three of the series, we learned that a Lannister always pays his debts. It's in their code.
What we didn't learn is how they handle their pets. The Caldwell Mill Animal Clinic clearly thinks that Lannisters always spay their pets. That's fair enough. You've got to have some sort of imagination when watching a show with dragons and an undead army.
Happy New Year! Or...
The winter holidays seem to pile on one after another. It's like you don't get a break from purchasing gifts, food, and clothes for parties. Sometimes, money is tight, so all you can do is send someone your best wishes.
One way to do it is by saying Merry Christmas and a happy New Year! Acton Animal Hospital took things to the next level with this joke. Fleas Navidog and Happy Neuter Year. It doesn't roll off the tongue but it's nice to read.
We Like Them Too!
We like big mutts and we cannot lie! You Border Collies can't deny. Okay, Eau Gallie isn't the only place that can have fun. This is a clever sign and we're surprised other places don't copy this idea.
That message is sure to attract more customers, especially those with big mutts. It would be funnier if this place didn't even accept small dogs just for the sake of the sign. Hey, it's a possibility.
Silly Cheetahs, Pokers For Cats!
If you look past the fact that cheetahs don't live in the jungle, this is one of the funnier signs on this list. Go ahead and imagine some cats playing poker and the game going sideways because of cheaters.
It's a hilarious image to have in your head. Just don't get any bright ideas and try and make it come to life. The cats will dismantle the arrangement faster than it took to set up.
A Nice Alligator Joke
It isn't often you see a good alligator joke. It isn't often you see a live alligator at all unless you live in Florida or Louisiana. To come across a good joke about them is a nice change of pace.
What would you call a gator in a suit? We bet you didn't think an investigator would be the answer. It's clever and it has more than two meanings. He's wearing a "vest" as a "gator."
Nice Name, Snowman
It's a scary thing to have a dog run up on you and try to bite you. That's why it's great when owners teach them not to bite anyone unless it's a burglar of some sort.
When a snowman owns a pooch, you can imagine they would have an interesting name for the dog. Well, this snowman seems like he's a smart character. Naming his pet dog Frost because he bites goes down in the books as one of the best puns.
Oh, So That's How They Do Math
If you've been wondering your whole life how cows can calculate more efficiently than you, then worry no more. The great mystery is finally figured out thanks to Highland Road Animal Hospital.
Next time you see a cow pull out a calculator, don't question it. Just know that they're trying to figure out how much tip their owner should leave the next time they go out. It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it.
Lazy Kangaroo's Are Mad Right Now
One thing we've learned is that you don't mess with kangaroos. Once they get on their hind legs and square up, you can expect a tussle. They're also very muscular, so that isn't a fight you want to pick.
Basically what we're trying to say is that we hope no kangaroos saw this sign. If so, they're going to be coming ready to rumble against the staffers at Highland Animal Hospital. Be nice to the kangaroos!
It Has To Be Done
Making ends meet can be tough. Sometimes, it requires a lot of effort and doing things you aren't used to doing or feel comfortable with. Imagine what a dog would do to make ends meet.
The scene might not be cute and adorable, but it is funny. Watching a pup chase its tail for no reason is questionable, but once you discover their motive behind it, things become funny. Good thing not all dogs are poor.
