Celebrities are just like the rest of us when it comes to parenting: they’re not pros. We can’t blame them though. After all, nobody said parenting was easy. In all honesty, these celebrity parenting fails remind us that no one is immune to the challenges of being a mom or dad—not even our favorite stars. From Channing Tatum’s dad jokes to Carrie Underwood’s hilarious 2:30 AM tweet, wait until you see who made the list!
Ryan Reynolds Played The Wrong Song During Labor
When Ryan Reynolds’ wife, actress Blake Lively, was in labor with their daughter James, the Deadpool star played a song for her. Apparently, Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” wasn’t the best choice.
“It was like steak knives coming out of her eyes,” Reynolds told Seth Meyers on the late night talk show. “Just like ‘Are you f—ing s—-ing me right now,'” he said. The Shallows actress had been cracking jokes the entire time, so Reynolds falsely thought he was in the clear to play a funny song. “She was a mercenary… I think I just caught her right in the middle of a contraction,” continued Reynolds.
He’s Joking, Right?
Ryan Reynolds has been known to get a little honest with his tweets about fatherhood. It’s hard to tell if he’s joking or making it seem like he’s joking while crying on the inside. In July 2016, Reynolds tweeted this hilarious parenting moment:
“Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years, I spent without a child, of course.” Hopefully, he was still flying high off of the unexpected success of Deadpool and was simply channeling the “Merc with a Mouth.”
Channing Tatum Freaked Out While Wife Gives Birth
Channing Tatum admitted to feeling a few butterflies when his wife Jenna Dewan-Tatum was giving birth to their daughter Everly. “I probably went to the bathroom like four times and had, like, a crying fit, like, ‘I don’t know what to do,'” he adorably admitted on Chelsea Lately.
“It was crazy. You feel helpless,” the Magic Mike star continued. “We like to think of ourselves as big, strong men, and we could handle whatever situation. And the reality is [women] are so much stronger than we could ever be. There’s a reason why we weren’t given that job, evolutionary or whatever. My wife, she’s a warrior. She did it as natural as you can. [As a man], you’re basically a cheerleader. ‘Come on, baby, you can do it.’ I would’ve tapped out in the first.”
Tatum’s Dad Jokes
One of the best advantages of being a parent is the never-ending source of material for cheesy dad jokes. They seem to come naturally for the funniest fathers out there. Channing Tatum is no exception and they seem to be a lot funnier coming from him. The 21 Jump Street actor posted a picture of his son playing in a gigantic pool of foam blocks on Twitter.
“I know I’ve got a blockhead… I never knew I’d have an actual blockhead for a child lol.” This probably isn’t the last time we are going to get a good dad pun out of Tatum.
The Weird Things Alyson Hannigan’s Kids Say
Alyson Hannigan was always best known for her “This one time, at band camp…” lines in American Pie. Before that, she was recognized as the concerned sidekick of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Now that she’s a mom, her motherly exploits have been shared thousands of times on Twitter. Her two-year-old daughter tried to one-up a sweet response from her 6-year-old daughter.
In 2015, she tweeted, “My 6yr old: ‘Mommy, I love u more than all of the chocolate chip cookies in the world!’My 2yr old: ‘Mama, I love u all the way up 2 your nose.'”
That’s a lot of love!
Being A Dad Is Alright, Alright, Alright…
No one has a cooler dad than Matthew McConaughey’s kids. One can only picture the chill mega star saying “Alright, alright, alright” during childbirth. For 14 hours of labor, McConaughey said he got tribal. “I was DJ-ing this Brazilian music,” the star said. “We were jamming.” But his wife Camila Alves was sweating—she took no painkillers and was ready for what was to come.
“She just clicked into that gear that only a woman has at a time like this…This is where I learned—and no one tells you this—but having a baby is a bloody, pukey, sweaty, primeval thing! And I mean that as a beautiful thing. It is wild. But the vacuum didn’t work, and the doctor said, ‘C-section.'”
Joel McHale’s Kid Is A Comedian Too
Joel McHale has been given some of the best one-liners in the business. From the countless quips on his new show, The Great Indoors to his role in Ted, McHale’s comedic value has only skyrocketed in the last few years. So it’s not surprising Joel also shares hilarious stories of fatherhood via social media.
In one funny account, Joel tweeted: “My kid changed the Lego Movie song from ‘Everything is awesome when you’re part of a team’ to ‘Everything is awesome when you’re not dying.’ I guess the comedy apple doesn’t fall too far from the fruitful comedy tree.
The Best Feeling Starlord Ever Had
Chris Pratt and Anna Faris might be the funniest couple in Hollywood right now. Faris is no stranger to tweeting about their celebrity life. Unfortunately, their son Jack was born prematurely. Pratt shared his experience during a March of Dimes event.
“Anna woke me up in the middle of the night and she told me that her water had just broken. It was two-and-a-half months early. Oh, baby. Ready or not,” he said. The baby was only three pounds and 12 ounces at birth. “The only people allowed to touch him were his mom and me unless you were wearing gloves. We did this amazing thing they call ‘skin-to-skin’—it was just the best feeling I ever had.”
Potty Training Progress
Thanks to Twitter, we have been able to see Jack Pratt grow up right before our very eyes. The celebrity couple has been very candid about their relationship and family life on the social media platform. In 2015, Faris was out for a walk with Jack. In one tweet, with a bag of Gerber Graduates snacks in hand and sporting some cool shades, Jack decided it was time to take a leak. Right on the sidewalk.
He had a mischievous look on his face while standing in a puddle of his own pee pee as if to say, “Dad would be proud.” Faris’ caption said it best.
Do We Really Ever Know Anything?
Adam Levine has proven his chops as a singer and an actor. He has a booming solo career and his band Maroon 5 constantly tops the charts. If there’s one thing Levine isn’t afraid to admit he knows nothing about, it’s parenting. After his daughter Dusty Rose was born, the singer admitted, “I’ve been a parent for three weeks; what do I know? I don’t know anything, but it’s kind of part of the beauty of it, honestly. There are a lot of instincts, a lot of things that kind of kick in and switch on. It’s a beautiful experience.”
NPH For Christmas
Neil Patrick Harris has to be one of the most beloved celebrities since his days as Doogie Howser, M.D. Hearing about his parenting exploits is almost as entertaining as his character on How I Met Your Mother. Every parent knows how it feels when your kid opens a present from Santa on Christmas. The gleam in their eye after opening a gift is so heartwarming. That is until all they want to play with is the box.
The day after Christmas, NPH tweeted a picture with the caption, “Up until 2 am constructing a table with wooden trains for Gideon and all he wants to do is play with a broom #MerryXmas.”
Mariah Carey Did What While Giving Birth?!?
When your mom is Mariah Carey, of course, the first song you hear upon entering this world should be from her incredible pipes, right? Nick Cannon shared the ex-couple’s birth-turned-concert experience on The Gayle King Show. The couple’s twins Monroe and Moroccan witnessed an unexpected free concert after their introduction to the world.
“Now my wife wanted to make sure that when the babies came out, that they came out not only to a Mariah Carey song but a live performance from Mariah Carey—her Madison Square performance of ‘Fantasy’—so they came out to a round of applause.” Not a bad start to life.
Conan The Superhero Dad
Conan O’Brien is, by far, one of the funniest comedians and writers in late night television. Even though he was snubbed by NBC for taking over The Tonight Show, Conan has continued his reign on TBS. He is a vocal comic book fan and even had a superhero suit made for him by the famous Ironhead Studios. He broadcasts his show live from Comic Con International in San Diego each year.
In 2016, he tweeted some words of wisdom every parent can agree with. “Every generation just wants their kids to have a better ‘Spiderman’ reboot than they did.”
New Baby, Disassembled Wife
Dax Shepard is married to actress Kristen Bell. When she was giving birth to their second daughter, Delta, Bell went through labor for nearly 33 hours.
“I think dad needs something,” said Shepard. “I deserve something because I was along for the ride. It’s still a car crash and I’m in the passenger seat. I’m playing Katy Perry and I’m breathing and I’m rubbing her back and I have fatigue and I think, ‘I need something for this, help me,'” he told Ellen DeGeneres.
“So there’s a sheet and then they go, ‘The baby’s here!’ Then you peek around the sheet and they’re lifting out the baby, but then you notice your wife is completely disassembled,” Shepard told her. “I can see inside of her…I was like, ‘It’s a girl! Your liver’s out, I think. And those are definitely your intestines. And she has your eyes! Oh my God, put her back together correctly.'”
A Champion Father
Ellen DeGeneres is just one of those people you can easily open up to. So when Taye Diggs appeared on Ellen, he told her all about his experience in the delivery room. “I was holding her hands and cheering her on,” he said. “I said I would look two times. I would look when the baby was crowning, and I wanted to look right when Walker came out.”
“And then when he came out, all the sudden it was like my inner gangster came out. I was like, ‘Yeah baby, that’s what I’m talkin’ about, that’s my boy. It was crazy. I couldn’t control myself. It was like the Super Bowl, World Series, World Cup, everything wrapped up into one.”
Carrie Underwood Had a Mom Moment
Carrie Underwood has been a vocal powerhouse in country music since she appeared on American Idol in 2005. She is one of the few Idol contestants to have spawned a stellar career thanks to the show. Fans and paparazzi alike have been following her every move. That didn’t stop when she had a child and began to share her fun facts on Twitter. In 2016, Underwood shared some words of wisdom at 2:30 in the morning:
“It just occurred to me that the majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn’t finish…”
Can’t Find My Kid
John Legend’s wife Chrissy Teigen has had some of the smartest responses to dumb questions about her parenting skills. When she went out to dinner, people tried to shame her for leaving a newborn baby so soon after childbirth. She remained cool, calm, collected and ready to unleash some passive-aggressive responses. When a fan asked her, “How’s baby Luna?” Teigen cleverly responded, “I dunno I can’t find her.”
Legend is not safe from her Mama Bear Twitter instincts, either. A couple of months later, fans read, “John just woke up from a nap and asked me what I’ve been doing. So I was like ‘uh taking care of the baby, duh.'”
Almost Missed It
Former SNL star and funnyman Jason Sudeikis shared a story of childbirth on The Late Show with David Letterman. “Around 9 p.m. nothing is moving…She’s like, ‘Okay, it’s going to be a couple hours, the doctor says. Honey, I’m not allowed to have any food in case something were to go haywire, go ahead and go get some food.’ I’m like, ‘Well I’m going to Taco Bell’ ’cause I’m about to be a dad.”
“I then leave Taco Bell and I think, ‘Well what would a dad from the ’50s do? He’d go to a bar.’ I’m going to go to a bar.” He lifted his phone to take a selfie and saw a missed call. “It’s happening,” she said, “get back here, it’s happening.” He made his way back to the delivery room and little Otis popped out after 20 minutes. The new family put Pandora on and Cat Stevens’ “Father and Son” began playing. “Like right out of a movie,” Jason said. “It was incredible.”
Every Man Pees On Himself
Sudeikis isn’t the only one with the jokes. His wife Olivia Wilde shares her parenting experiences just as much as Jason. There are some things you learn as a mom that you would never learn if you had not reproduced. Wilde came to a realization while she was changing a diaper just before she sent out the following tweet:
“Having an infant son alerts me to the fact that every man, at one point, has peed on his own face. #awesome”. Now, this is something you don’t typically read in any of those handy parenting books.
Everything Is Perfect…
Canadian author and screenwriter Kelly Oxford may not be well-known to those who haven’t read her New York Times bestseller, Everything Is Perfect When You’re a Liar. She has been a vocal celebrity on Twitter who was voted one of the “140 Best Twitter feeds of 2011” and there’s a very good reason.
Her short but sweet 140-character stories about motherhood are priceless. In 2016, she tweeted, “7yr old daughter walked in the room, casually confirmed, ‘You have to have a backstory to why you’re evil, right?’ and walked out.” No other explanation given (or needed).
Oxford has made a business out of being ruthlessly entertaining on Twitter. She is actually co-credited for coming up with the concept of Jimmy Kimmel Live‘s segment “Mean Tweets” where celebrities read terrible tweets about themselves out loud. We’ve learned that her daughter stays up with all of the juicy celebrity gossip as well. Thanks to Twitter, we were able to learn a little more about her feelings regarding Beyonce’s drama:
“7YO singing along to Beyonce’s HOLD UP, stops, whispers…
‘I’m so glad Beyonce wrote this song. I’m so glad her husband cheated on her.'”
No One Likes Their Kids’ Recitals
You may know Michael Ian Black as the funny guy from Wet Hot American Summeror you may recognize him from his work on the hilarious but short-lived series Stella. Either way, Black is undeniably funny and not afraid to admit what everyone else is thinking. He’s also a proud father!
Black took to Twitter to discuss just how he feels about watching his children’s recital. While most parents feign interest, Black just lets loose.
“Going to my kids’ spring concert which I guess is karmic punishment for some atrocity I committed in a past life,” he said.
Okay, so it’s a little harsh, but hey, not everyone can excel at everything. Black just isn’t afraid to say so.
Confusion In The Delivery Room
Chris O’Dowd, the adorable actor who played a cop in Bridesmaids, is also a doting husband and father. During an appearance on Live with Kelly and Ryan, O’Dowd was kind enough to bless us with this gift of a story from the delivery of his newborn.
Rumors swirled that O’Dowd had actually delivered the baby during a homebirth, but he set the record straight. “That’s probably overstating it … I caught him,” he said. “We didn’t know if it was going to be a boy or a girl. It’s a lot. It’s a lot of new information when a baby comes out.” He continued, “I caught him and my wife was like, ‘What is it?’ And I said, ‘It’s a baby!’”
Baby’s First Record Deal
Shakira’s slays the Billboard charts, even as a busy mama. How does she do it? She takes her little guy to the studio and pulls double duty! Her son Milan Pique Mebarak actually made his musical debut on her 2014 album Shakira — except the whole thing was an accident.
“I was at the very last bit of the song, so I put a pair of headphones, and I sat him on my life. As I recorded the last bit, he listened carefully. He was just paying attention, focused on what I was doing. Then, at the end, he goes ‘meah!’ And that stayed,” she said.
Like A Sailor
Imitation is the highest form of flattery, unless it’s your kid mimicking your bad habits. Ashton Kutcher learned this the hard way when he accidentally left an F-bomb slip.
“We woke up one morning and we had a new dog,” Kutcher said on Late Night with Seth Meyers. “The new dog had peed on the stairway and I’m getting ready in the morning and Mila is like, ‘Oh Ricky peed on the stairwell.’ And I’m like, ‘[expletive], Ricky!’ And my daughter is right behind me and all the sudden I just hear, ‘[Expletive] Ricky!’ And I’m like, ‘No, no, no, Papa didn’t say that! Papa said fox,'” he said on Late Night with Seth Meyers.
Kutcher then went on to say that his daughter took a liking to the word and repeated it on her own when she saw a hole the dog had chewed through the carpet.
Like Mommy, Like Daddy?
There’s a reason Anna Faris is a successful actress – she’s so darned funny. The gorgeous blonde bombshell has a sarcastic sense of humor that she definitely shares with her children. It also doesn’t hurt that her kids share some DNA with Parks & Recreation comedian Chris Pratt. Faris’ son is certainly a little whippersnapper – a budding comedian following in his mom and dad’s footsteps. The actress took to Instagram to describe a moment when her son made a realization that was a little too real.
“24:5 pm. My son just told me I had a mustache like daddy’s,” she wrote.
Not Every Kid Wants To Be A Father
Jim Gaffigan is best known for his work in It’s Kind of a Funny Story and 17 Again, but to his son he’s just Dad. What does that entail? Being a little bit round around the middle.
Gaffigan has a huge family, but his youngest son apparently keeps it the most real. The 5-year-old definitely voiced his opinion, which happens to be that Dad is letting himself go. Unfortunately, that’s just the cost of doing business.
“‘When I grow up I don’t want to be a dad. I don’t want to be fat.’ – my 5 year old former son,” tweeted the star, definitely thrilled .
Right Where It Hurts
Former Parks & Recreation star Adam Scott has an eight-year-old daughter, Frankie, and a 10-year-old son, Graham. Apparently, the Scotts do quite a bit of roughhousing in their household because Adam is always afraid of getting hit where it hurts.
The actor took to Twitter to describe what he really thinks about parenting. No, it wasn’t that parenting is deeply rewarding and biggest joy of his life. It also wasn’t the fact that watching your kids grow into real, individual people is both weird and satisfying. It was the fact he always, always gets hit in the nuts.
“I literally spend 70% of my time parenting just protecting my nuts,” he wrote.
Early To The Party
Tina Fey’s daughter has the same dry sense of humor as her comedienne mother. While Saturday Night Live probably isn’t holding their breath waiting for a twelve-year-old to join their ranks, there’s no doubts she’s well on her way.
Throughout her childhood, Fey has shared lots of funny stories about her daughter Alice, but one in particular takes the cake. When Alice was little she loved playing with her little sister. She always wanted to climb into her crib and hang out. Fey loved the fact that her two daughters got along, but she urged Alice to be careful around the baby. So, what did she do? She crawled into her sister’s crib and whispered,” Hello, beautiful eyes. Do you mind if I party with you?”
The Things You Don’t Want To Post
Jessica Simpson isn’t really camera shy. Remember when she starred in her own reality series? It seems like the singer-turned-reality-star is actually quite shy when it comes to content of her phone, and her little darlings know exactly how to get her a little bit red in the fact.
In an interview with Jimmy Fallon, Simpson spoke about how her kids Maxwell and Ace are basically tech wizards. In fact, they manage to find exactly the photo you don’t want to post and post it!
“They’re better at technology than I am, not that I’m ever good at it but they take over people’s phones and somehow find the pictures not to post,” she said.
Amy Poehler’s boys love playing around – but they’re definitely not as civilized as their female playmates.
“They’re brothers and they’re boys, so they kind of play like bear cubs all day long. They just roll around and roll around. When mothers come over with daughters and we have playdates, my house is a little crazy, everyone’s running around, jumping off furniture, and they’ll bring their daughters over and the daughters will be like, ‘Should we sit in the corner and cooperate?’ And my guys would be like ‘I made chocolate soup!’ And they’ll just make, you know, dirt soup. And the girls are making like a birdhouse out of organic materials,” Poehler explained.
The Duck Meltdown
Every parent has to get used to the occasional meltdown. For some, that meltdown happens at the happiest place on Earth. Drew Barrymore recalled the time her daughter Olive had a full on meltdown at Disney World over nothing more than a little duck.
“She wanted to chase a duck. Maybe a Disney employee, maybe not. Maybe wild. But Olive was determined to catch it, and in hindsight as a parent you have these revelations like, I should’ve let her catch it, because she either would have and been satisfied, or she wouldn’t have been, and been mad at the duck and not her mom who tried to stop her from chasing the bird,” she said.
Sharing Isn’t Caring
Sharing is a wonderful thing, but it’s not always easy to teach your kids how to share their favorite toys. Dax Shepard didn’t have this problem with his little girl – but it almost led to some pretty serious injuries. “We’re all eating dinner and my mother says, ‘Guys! Guys! Guys!’ We look over — Lincoln has some rocks that she loves and carries around — and she’s throwing them in the baby bassinet to share. They’re big rocks!”
“There were no injuries, but that got our attention. Sharing is not caring, always. They say it is, but sometimes it’s almost murder,” said the star.
Mommy At Work
Camila Alves and her husband Matthew McConaughey are definitely too busy making movies and playing mom and dad to pick up a shift at Target. That didn’t stop their son Levi from confusing mom’s partnership with Target as an actual job at the register.
“When I told Levi I was going to work with Target his eye lit up, and he was like, ‘Mom, are you gonna wear the red shirt?’ And I was like, ‘What do you mean the red shirt, Levi?'” Alves dished. “He goes, ‘The red shirt from the register! You’re gonna work at the register, right?’ It was so sweet, the cutest thing ever, that he’s so innocent, he thought Mama’s gonna work at the register at Target!”
Former President Barack Obama made truly brilliant speeches throughout his presidency. Even now, he’s taken up a new career in public speaking. That doesn’t mean his teenage daughters are super into it. Apparently, they zing Dad regularly, especially when he goes into speech mode.
On Jimmy Kimmel Live, Obama recalled the time his daughter Sasha was telling him about Snapchat.
“At the end of it, Michelle and I are sitting there and I said, ‘Isn’t this interesting?’ And I started talking to Michelle about the implications of social media and what all this means,” he said. “I came to find out that she was recording the whole time and then sent to her friends afterward, ‘This is my dad lecturing us on the meaning of social media,’ And she took a picture of herself sort of looking bored.”
One Of The Boys
Chris Hemsworth is a hunky actor, but he’s also a confused dad just trying to figure it out. Apparently, the star was totally taken back when he found out his little girl India Rose just wanted to be one of the guys.
“She came to me the other day and she was like, ‘You know, papa, I want one of those things that Sasha and Tristan have.’ I’m like, ‘What do you mean?’ She was like, ‘You know, the things in between the legs that you have.’ I was like ‘Oh, um…Well, you see, girls…’” he told Ellen DeGeneres on her talk show.
“My brain’s like, ‘How do we handle this?’ I was like, ‘Girls have breasts.’ ‘I don’t want breasts!’ I was like, ‘OK. Um…’ She goes, ‘I really want one.’ I was like, ‘A penis?’ She was like, ‘I want a penis!’” he said. “I was like, ‘Oh, OK. Um…’” he said.
A few minutes later, Hemsworth resumed the conversation. “I was like, ‘You know what? You can be whatever you want to be.’ And she goes, ‘Thanks, Dad!’”
Melissa McCarthy is the proud mother of a night owl. The actress lamented about how her daughter never lets her sleep (but really what kid does?). Apparently, her daughter has a silly habit of reading books at three in the morning.
“She sleeps at night until she gets up and doesn’t sleep. She would always come on my side [of the bed] and she just knocks on my forehead like a front door. She’s like ‘What are you doing?’ I’m like, ‘It’s 2:15 I’m trying to sleep.’ Or she’ll come in with a book and it’s like 3:20. And she’s just reading, she’s like ‘You wanna read this book?!’”
Getting your children to sleep is a difficult task for any parent. Comedian Kevin James has just as much trouble getting his little ones to bed as the rest of us. The actor shared his biggest struggles when it comes to bedtime.
“Even if you do get them to sleep, it’s the dismount from the bed that is the most crucial. You can undo all your hard work with a bad dismount, it’s like a human game of pickup sticks. So when you try to move your body parts from one side to the other, and I’m big, so when I roll to one side of the mattress they come tumbling into the vortex,” he said.
Party On The Tour Bus
When most of us think about what happens on a tour bus we’re probably picturing some hard and fast rock n’ roll lifestyle. Maybe there’s drugs, maybe there’s tons of women, but there certainly aren’t babies. For John Legend, there are definitely women but those women happen to be his gorgeous wife Chrissy Teigen and their daughter Luna.
“I’m excited that we’re in the position where we can bring [Luna] on tour this summer and late spring, so that’ll be fun. I’m in a position where we can make things happen to make sure she’s around us as much as possible. Diapers on the bus, a crib on the bus — a long way from my bachelor days,” he told People.